Empty Nest

 I just read this terrific post about a mom getting used to her empty nest. She, of course, loves her kids but was reveling in the joy of a tidy house, the ability to find spoons and not having to run a short order kitchen.

I think her post speaks beautifully to that experience. (Link in comments) 

Some of her joys are also true for me. Rob and I were already in the conversation about what life might look like when Jess went to college. We were already getting less time with her because of all her friend adventures and school activities so it wasn’t much of a leap to imagine less.

BUT "less" is not none.

None is still inconceivable. It has been more than 4 months, which can feel like a few hours or many years depending on the hour, and I still can't make my heart believe it. I think somehow I'm pretending that she's just away at college while simultaneously understanding that it it isn’t  true. 

I was really looking forward to creating our "What's Next?" and as I imagined it, with sporadic Jess events (visits, phone calls, likely even a few more family vacations) if not a future of regular gatherings once she zeroed in on her career and found the place she wanted to call home.

I even started to feel a bit guilty for how quickly I fled my own nest after college. I barely visited those first years after college (Sorry Mom!) and remember thinking, I hope Jess wouldn't do the same. (What a double edge sword it is to raise a competent adult!)

Now Rob and I have to create a completely different Next. 

And it will never be as good as the one I was expecting.