Goodbye (for now) and Thank you for Being Part of This

(NOTE: this is the last post for this blog, but with nearly 400 posts, I'm sure you will continue to find something #JessInspired. Also, I just added a bunch of new things before signing off here, so if you haven't been here in a while, be sure to check those out too!)

Careful as a Moondrop began as a bridge.

A way to carry the Jess posts beyond Facebook, a way to keep them easy to find for friends and family who were not on Facebook or my page every day. I never intended to keep it going forever. 

Careful as a Moondrop became a record of that first year, and then it became something else, too. It became a place where time kept moving, even when I wanted it to stop. It became a witness. It held the strange mix of devastation and gratitude.

I have read the #StuffMyGirlSays memories most mornings. Some still make me laugh out loud. Some stop me cold. I have learned that grief is not only sorrow, it is also whiplash. It is the bright, ordinary life of her words on one side, and the unbearable fact of her absence on the other. That gap is where I have lived for a while now. 

If you have been here with me, thank you. For reading, for holding her name with care, for letting her words meet you where you are. I have never taken that for granted.

I am concluding Careful as a Moondrop now, not because the remembering is over, but because it is time to let this chapter be complete. I have a complicated relationship with endings. I let things fade rather than close them. But grief has taught me that gentle closure can be its own kind of mercy. A door can close without slamming. A season can end without erasing what grew inside it.

What I know now is simple, and still true.

Talking about her helps. Remembering helps. And even in the hardest moments, love is still growing in the cracks.

I also want to say this plainly. I am still learning how to do grief. I am still learning what helps, what makes it worse, and what makes me feel a little more like myself again. And lately, I keep coming back to the same idea. We do not have to hide our grief to make other people comfortable. We can name it, talk about our people, and ask for what we need.

I am also beginning to imagine something new. Jess Inspired events and games, gatherings and prompts, and small practices that help us live with love and loss at the same time. I do not know exactly what it will look like yet, but if you would like to be notified by email or text when those begin, let me know. I would love to include you.

For now, I am keeping this space as an archive. Feel free to come back often, but I won't be posting anything new here.

I also hope you will come along to the Everyday Grief blog on GriefHeart.Org. I will be sharing about grief there, and Jess’s words and spirit will continue to appear in new ways.

GriefHeart.Org, Everyday Grief blog
https://griefheart.org/blog-home

Jess is still here, not in the way I want, but in the way love insists on staying. In the stories. In the cracks. In the way her words still light up a morning, and then break it open, and then somehow still invite me to keep going.

Thank you for being part of this.

With love,
Kathy