SIX MONTHS

 I’ve tried, really tried, not to give the 17th any power.

I know people in grief groups call it an “Angelversary.” 

The day their child died. 

Some light candles. 

Some post tributes. 

But I’ve never understood why I would want to give homage to the worst day of my life?

And yet; Jess was 17. And she died on the 17th. So even when I try to forget, the number wraps around me like a net I can’t untangle.

And here I am again. 

Another month later. 

Now six months later!

On the 17th.

Still trying to wrap my head around  something that NEVER should have happened and a date that now haunts me. A date that shouldn't matter and now means everything and nothing all at once.

I don’t want to remember how she died. 

I want to remember how she lived. 

How she lit up a room. 

How she made people feel seen. 

How she believed in kindness, even when it was hard.

I miss her more than words allow. And even though I didn’t want this day to matter, it does.

Because she mattered.

Jess always will.

So today I’m not lighting a candle or making a tribute. I’m just surviving the 17th. Missing my girl. 

#JessInspired  #Forever17