Fancy Moments

 It’s hard to imagine that 2025 will be a whole year without Jess. A Facebook post was going around recently, asking us to pick a photo from "this year" when we were really happy. In 2024, those happy times could include Jess. 2025 will not carry the same gift.

Last night, we spent New Year’s Eve with dear friends, and Jess’s friends got all blinged up for the occasion. I suspect that they did it because they knew Jess would have wanted it that way—she always loved a reason to dress up. Whether it was fancy attire or costumes, she was usually the instigator behind these efforts, seeing every gathering as a chance to create moments. And creating moments was what Jess was all about.

I, however, was always a bit of a disappointment to Jess in the "fancy" department. When she was six, she asked me, “Mom, why aren’t you very fancy like the other moms?” At seven, it was, “Can I pick out an outfit for you to come pick me up in? I’d like my friends to think you’re sportier.” Her honest assessments of my fashion choices always came with a playful determination to "help me improve."

We live in Hawaiʻi, a place not exactly known for its fashion-forward leanings. At any event—no matter how formal—you’re guaranteed to spot someone in shorts and slippahs (flip-flops). But Jess didn’t care. She was going to be well-dressed, and she would cajole everyone around her to step it up too.

Even in a place with few opportunities for high fashion, Jess was determined. Our local stores didn’t offer much variety, which suited me fine since I’m happy in shorts and slippahs. But Jess? She wanted more. Every trip to the mainland included a pilgrimage to a mall, and her life at home was punctuated by frequent thrift store visits. At first, she had pretty good luck with thrift finds. But over time, when she grew frustrated with the limited options, she taught herself to sew. That way, she could alter and create the clothes she envisioned, rounding out her wardrobe with her own unique flair.

As I think about Jess in these moments—her insistence on dressing up, her passion for creating beauty in unexpected places, and her ability to elevate even the most mundane gatherings—I realize that 2025 will be a year where I have to carry her spirit forward. She showed me that the smallest choices, like dressing up or creating something with care, can make the ordinary extraordinary. Jess wasn’t just about clothes or appearances; she was about making life brighter and more meaningful.

This year, I will miss her terribly. But I’ll also try to honor her legacy by finding my own way to be “fancy”— probably not in the way she always wished for, but, at the very least, in the way she taught us all to be: making every moment matter.

Photos: Some of Jess's blingy friends from last night. And as evidence of her sewing prowess: Jess in her Maleficent Costume which she designed and sewed herself! It is lined with purple silk AND has a short version of the skirt which is interchangeable!